So I sit at my desk, feeling low at every blob of disappointment that’s flying in from all sides these past couple of days. My showstopper books aren’t going to be ready in time for Bologna, after all. Far from ready, actually! As the calender zooms in uncannily closer to my date of departure, I am beginning to give up my foolish optimism.
Hmmm. So what am I going to share with agents and publishers I have fixed up to meet?
One part of my mind screams, ‘Activate plan B!’. Smart thought. Only, I don’t have one!
So WHAT am I going to share with agents and publishers I have fixed up to meet?
Let’s see where we stand. I’ve listed five books (oh, come on, I’ve just set up shop) in our catalogue for Bologna 2015, two of which have been out for a while, one is in a print-ready state, and the other two are about one tenth done. No wait, my daughter’s doing her fractions at school these days, I’d better get this right: about one eighth done now. Am hoping it goes up to one sixth by the time I’m ready to leave.
Yeah, but what am I going to share with agents and publishers I have fixed up to meet ?
Three full-done and two semi done may not sound that awful when I tell everyone we are barely two months old, right? And besides, I’ve heard of authors and publishers attending the fair with just two books.
Ha! Smart! So now what am I going to share with agents and publishers I have fixed up to meet?
‘Go with the flow, go for the experience; nothing ever ‘happens’ on the first visit. Or even the fifth, for that matter,’ the veterans have been telling me. I need to keep telling myself I am going there to see, learn, explore, learn, meet people, learn, have fun, learn, gorge on gelato, learn and just generally learn. Yeah, all that has a zen like zing to it, but the bottom line still remains:
What the fucking hell am I going to share with agents and publishers I have fixed up to meet?!
Frankly, I don’t know. And I should stop allowing the nag of a concern from preventing me to savour the exciting build up to my first ever Bologna Children’s Book Fair! After all, the 30 min slots are just that, 30 min slots for a face-to-face. Just how bad can it get without having ‘stuff to show’? 
And just as I see some of my optimism return, my daughter shouts out to show me this:
Mr Cavity and the onlooker are done, but she wants me to tell her how many warts and pimples I’d like to see on Ms Tootie’s face. The warts go with the black, and the pimples will be done in red. She has it all sorted out.
Not like the clueless mother who’s still wondering about what the …!